Hurry Up And Wait

25 Feb

FaithI am a control freak. Maybe that is why I work for myself. When you work for yourself and something goes wrong there is no one to blame but yourself. I find some sort of twisted peace in knowing that.

Sometimes I forget that the rest of the world doesn’t process things the same way I process them. I see the world in black of white. The rest of the world sees shades of gray. This tends to be a huge problem for me. In relationships, in internal struggles, in business, in faith. When someone tells me something I take it at face value. “Yes” should always mean “yes.” It sure would make the world a less complicated place.

Today this mostly has to do with the process of buying a house. When an agent says something they should mean it. When a seller says something they should mean it. When a lender says something they should mean it. And when you say something inaccurate (or even worse, omit something important later on) own up to it. “I screwed up.” Three very powerful words that are so easy to say and can mean so much to the person on the other end of the screw up.

If something goes wrong with the loan for this house in a way I have peace of mind knowing I provided everything that was asked for when it was asked for. I was transparent with everything. But, you know what? If something goes wrong with the loan and we don’t get this house I am going to be mad. Really really mad. Because someone elses screw up will have affected MY life. Forget the money I have already invested. The time and energy are far more valuable to me.

In all of this I find myself turning to God more than ever. I know that things will happen the way they are supposed to even if it hurts at the time. There have been many times in my life where I prayed and prayed for something to happen and when it didn’t happen I was always mad. But, looking back, I am so thankful for all of those unanswered prayers. There was always something better waiting for me or some lesson that needed to be learned.

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