2014 Welcomed Me…

5 Jan

With a terrible cold and the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I wish life was as easy as willing things to happen.

Maybe if I squeeze my eyes tight enough, pray long enough, love hard enough.

Maybe if I try to barter with the universe.

Maybe if I try to rationalize things until the cows come home and go back to the fields to feed again.

Maybe THEN my life will be perfect.

I feel like some cliche romance. It’s not you, Universe. It’s me.

But that would be a lie and I am too stubborn to explain it in such simple terms.

I’m selfish.

I put my biological children first, my marriage second and my business third.

That is just the way it is and likely always will be.

And if I were to get all PC I would lie and say other people rank in my top three

But they don’t.

And frankly I don’t WANT them to be ranked there.

And if that makes me a horrible person who will someday get hit by a bus

Or struck by lightning




Because I am painfully stubborn

And brutally honest

And bitter

Really, really bitter sometimes.

Dear 2014,

Last year was the most fantastic year of my life. No need to be intimidated by it. Let’s turn things around and make this year match that.


Sleepless In Snowy Weather

One Response to “2014 Welcomed Me…”

  1. Grandma January 7, 2014 at 1:09 pm #

    No one has a ‘perfect’ life – whatever that is. If the post is about your step-daughter, I understand your anguish. Doing your best with her and for her is not about destroying things that you believe in. Stick with your definition of family principles and include her in the responsibility of that behavior. Her Mom? No idea what to say……..

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