As a Mother

30 Aug


Tonight is definitely a Kenny G, glass of wine and be by myself night. I am sure many mothers around the country can relate. It is the end of the second week of school, kids are coming home sick and all of them are in desperate need of a nap. And, lets get real, so are the moms.

Nothing is “wrong” per se. Nikkos really seems to like school and is making friends. His teacher SAYS he isn’t having problems being bossy which is good. He talks to much, but always has a smile on his face. That is what she told us anyway. He has had the stomach bug, but it was a 12 hour bug that has managed to avoid the rest of us (for now). Nothing has gone catastrophically wrong.

So why am I so painfully exhausted? Spent. Done. Over it. Tiiiirrreedddd.

Who knew worrying about kids was just as exhausting as sheltering them? And I have…well…the rest of my life to worry about him. Is he making friends? Are they good kids? Smart kids? Is he doing the right thing? Is he raising his hand? Is he being respectful? Am I always going to feel this emotionally drained? Like, as in the rest of my life??? Because if I am then I may as well be proactive and buy some stock in my favorite brand of wine because I am going to end up being their best customer.

I know, I know. Worrying solves nothing. Blah blah blah. If I hear one more person tell me to stop worrying then I may go off the deep end. It’s not that easy. If I could just STOP worrying I wouldn’t be sitting here with a half empty (half full) glass of wine waiting for the sleepy affect to set in.

I miss my babies being babies. I regret not spending every waking moment of every day doting on them and looking at the chubby creases in their legs and admiring their tiny little fingers.

I need to learn coping skills, but for tonight this glass of Merlot and some Kenny G will just have to do the trick.

One Response to “As a Mother”

  1. Grandma August 31, 2013 at 6:30 am #

    Loved this and smiled all the way through…you have a way with words! Hugs!

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