Archive | May, 2013

Ohana

22 May

My heart is heavy today.

I tried to get out in the sunshine. I worked on the yard until I had sweat dripping down my face, but nothing stopped my heart from feeling so heavy.

I hate that feeling of wishing you could change the world, but feeling like you are moving one grain of sand at a time. I hate the feeling of knowing someone else is hurting, and not being able to fix things for them.

I hate having so many thoughts and ideas and either not enough time, not enough resources or not enough money to see all of them through.

I think it is time to take a trip. Time to reevaluate priorities. It is time to realize that one grain of sand is better than nothing.

And, to a dear friend: You are beautiful, you are worth SO much more than you even understand. Never settle for anything less than butterflies.

My happiness…

20 May

Is a cup of tea on a crisp morning

A comfy chair, a fire going, snow falling and a great book

My grandmothers smile

My mothers laugh

My fathers humor

My husbands touch

My childrens hugs

My step mothers encouraging words

Krispy Kreme

Thrifting

Watching my cats play with boxes

Sunrises

Car Washes

My mother in laws cookies

Billy Joel music blasting

Laughing until I am crying

Giving to those in need

Feeding horses carrots

The bears at the zoo

Picnics

Christmas

Painting

Singing

Soaking in the simple things

 

 

The things you take for granted…

14 May

Other people are praying for.

I just got a message from an old friend saying her sisters house had burnt down. She lost EVERYTHING. She was just starting out on her own and now has nothing. What a horrible feeling that must be to come home to find no home there. Thank goodness her physical being is ok, but I am sure her spiritual self is absolutely crushed.

Things like that make you really realize how much you take the basic things for granted. Some things in life seem SO important until you realize how trivial they really are. We live in a society where the only acceptable thinking is that we always need MORE. More friends (Facebook, anyone?) more money, more stuff, more fame, more notoriety.

You know what we really need? Relationships. Purpose. Reason. Compassion.

I am a HUGE Dave Ramsey fan and my favorite quote of his is that “We buy stuff we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.” How painfully, embarrassingly true.

I want to encourage everyone to pay it forward. Realize that the smallest acts of kindness can make all the difference. A smile may make the difference between someone having a horrible day and a liveable one.

Appreciate each breath, each day with clean water, each load of laundry, each hug from your children, each pesky light that burns out in your home.

Because….

The things you take for granted, other people are praying for.

In Honor of Mothers Day

8 May

As I sat at dinner in my pajamas watching as both kids cried because “My pizza is too crunchy!!” or “Water is just…just…STUPID” I couldn’t help but wonder how my mother would have handled the situation if it were me and my brother throwing the same temper tantrums when we were little.

What did I do? Well, for starters I poured a glass of merlot, because wine at least helps any situation…right? And then I yelled at my kids and felt so so SO guilty ten minutes later when my baby girl gave me a big hug and said that she loved me to the moon and back.

I guess the point I am trying to get at (eventually..I mean my nerves are still frazzled so bear with me) is that my mother is amazing. Most of my memories of growing up were of her being a loving, funny and artistic woman. I don’t remember her being like I am to my own kids.

My mother has always been such an inspirational and encouraging woman. She sees the good in every person and doesn’t judge people the way I am guilty of judging. My mother is a woman anyone feels comfortable talking to and a woman so many people are lucky enough to call a friend.

I think it is true that you never TRULY respect your parents until you become a parent yourself. You never understand the work that goes into every day. You don’t understand why your mom cried the day you went off to kindergarten until you send your own child off to kindergarten. Mothers carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and I was just lucky enough to have a mom who carried that weight and smiled through the heaviness of it all.

I remember telling my mom that I was pregnant and her hanging her head in sadness. At the time I thought it was because she was disappointed in me (which, to an extent, is true) but now I get that she did it because she KNEW what was coming. She knew that motherhood changes your soul, your entire being.

She knew that the road ahead meant sleepless nights listening through the monitor to your child breathing. She knew it meant walking through Target with a child screaming that they hated you while strangers shook their heads in pity. She knew it meant watching another child pick on your own as your mama bear instincts fought the urge to call that child every bad name in the book. She knew that gone were the days of sleeping in and ahead were the days of cleaning your child’s vomit out of your own hair.

I am thankful to have the mother that I have. She lets me make my own mistakes and is there for me when I come crying to her saying that my kids are going to hate me FOREVER. She is there to give me advice, but only when I ask for it. She is my shoulder to lean on and gives me sanity when I feel like my sanity has run dry.

My mother is more than a mother to me. She is my children’s idol, she is my husbands mentor and she is MY best friend.

And sheesh! She’s drop dead gorgeous to boot!

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