Confessions of a Teen Mom: Part Two

11 Nov

My boyfriend and I were in love. At least we thought we were. We both had such a diluted sense of reality and we genuinely thought that as long as we were in love nothing could go wrong. Everything went wrong.

Before I get any further I should probably give a recap of the six months before I saw those two pink lines on that plastic stick. On September 28th 2006 I thought I had experienced love at first sight. I was at a party with a lot of alcohol, a lot of sleaze ball guys and a ton of underage drinking. In other words, it was a typical Saturday night for half of the teenagers in the country.

That is where I met my prince charming. A man who was clearly fit to be the father of my children. That is what my 17 year old self thought anyway. My prince charming was a 23 year old misfit who’s life was in shambles. We stayed up until 4am talking about everything and anything. He was everything I didn’t want in a boyfriend, yet I hung on his every word. Two weeks later he was living with me in my moms apartment. Yes, two weeks later.

Playing house went well for a while. I got very sick at the end of the year and my prince charming took care of me while I slept on a mattress in the living room and lost 20 pounds in the course of five weeks. He took care of me. My mom trusted him to take care of me. In February of 2007 I had a pregnancy scare. When I found out I wasn’t pregnant a part of me was actually very sad. What did my boyfriend do to cheer me up? He bought me a dog. A dog that, two weeks later, I decided was just too much work to take care of so I gave him away.

I gave a dog away because he was too much work, yet I still thought a baby would be fun. Cute. An adventure.

After the first pregnancy scare my boyfriend and I stopped using birth control. Naturally after I found out I was pregnant I lied right through my teeth and told everyone that I had NO IDEA how I got pregnant just like most teen moms do.

When I found out I was pregnant I didn’t know how to feel. I was happy to have someone who would love me unconditionally. I was even happy that I would be forced to grow up. The truth is, I was a very scared, very confused, very insecure girl.

Little did I know this mess I was in was just the calm before the storm. Life was about to get harder. A lot harder.

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