The Little Things In Life

20 Aug

It really is the little things in life that are very defining moments. I am reminded of this often, especially lately.

Little Miss Ariahna starts her first ballet class today and Nikkos starts his first tap/jazz class today. I get that they are 2 and 4 and there will be many other firsts for them, but it makes me sad that Tom is going to miss his baby girl dressed up in her ballet outfit for the first time. It seems so silly, but it really does make me upset.

Tom works so hard for our family. I could never say it enough. He got off work at midnight last night and is headed back to work in an hour. That means he had 8 hours off, but really it was more like 5. He probably got to sleep at 1am and woke up with the kids at 6. Does he ever complain? Nope. He does it because he knows his income is important to our family.

It has been really hard for us to stay optimistic about his job lately. Don’t get me wrong, he is doing very well at it and continues to get bonuses and raises and promotions. It is just days like today that make it really hard. I wish he could be home to be part of the little firsts for our kids that seem so small, but mean so much. It also makes it hard because we know the potential our business has. We know that if we worked full time with our business that it would easily surpass what he is making at work now. The salary has just been a very hard thing to give up.

We keep saying “someday.” Someday he will get to be his own boss and make his own schedule. Someday we will be able to go on spur of the moment vacations and take a day off just because it’s nice outside and we want to take the kids to the zoo. Someday we will create our own destiny and someday we will be able to take a sick day without having to ask someone else first.

Someday will happen some day. Hopefully some day within the next couple of years. Until then I will still feel a twinge of heartbreak when I take the kids to their dance classes alone and when I take them to the zoo alone and when I read them ten bedtime stories alone.

Today I will work harder than I did yesterday, because the thought of someday happening someday is enough for me to work that extra hour today and tomorrow and the next day.

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