I Just Want 30 Minutes of Silence

16 Jul

I love my kids to death, I really do. There are just some days where I wish I could have 30 minutes of silence. No kids crying, no cats meowing, no email buzzing, no Facebook, no husband texting no noise at all. I could be doing laundry or taking a shower or watching paint dry or, hell, cleaning up dog poop. As long as it gave me 30 minutes of silence I would be all for it. How in heavens name did my parents do it?!

“He pinched me!”

“She won’t play with me!

“The cat is biting my toe!”

“I don’t want to be her friend anymore.”

“Did you do the laundry?”

” haven’t gotten the product I ordered 4 1/2 hours ago!”

“You owe us money!”

“I need you to hand me the blankie that is seven centimeters from my hand.”

SILENCE!!!!!

Sometimes I can’t even hear myself think. Sometimes I wonder if the world would explode if I didn’t talk for thirty whole minutes. If I was able to use the restroom in peace without someone coloring on the couch in crayon (Which WON’T come off despite how hard I scrub).

Silence.

Something so many people take advantage of before they have children…among many other things like seven full hours of sleep. As I posted this blog I had a record four minutes of silence. That record was broken by my son informing me that playdough was stuck in his playdough machine and he simply could not go on living without informing me of this tragedy. Yes, the same playdough that I let them play with a few days ago.

Two more minutes of silence that was then interrupted by my husband informing me that his new shirt for work was made in Cambodia. A life changing sentence that simply HAD to be said before his brain exploded with the profoundness of it.

Oh what I would give for just 30 minutes of silence.

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